first tumblr crushes 2012

the most popular celebrities on tumblr - imdb

Thomas William Hiddleston was born in Westminster, London, to English-born Diana Patricia (Servaes) and Scottish-born James Norman Hiddleston. His mother is a former stage manager, and his father, a scientist, was the managing director of a pharmaceutical company. He started off at the preparatory ...

Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch was born and raised in London, England. His parents, Wanda Ventham and Timothy Carlton (born Timothy Carlton Congdon Cumberbatch), are both actors. He is a grandson of submarine commander Henry Carlton Cumberbatch, and a great-grandson of diplomat Henry Arnold ...

Martin Freeman is an English actor, known for portraying Bilbo Baggins in Peter Jackson's The Hobbit film trilogy, Tim Canterbury in the original UK version of sitcom mockumentary The Office (2001), Dr. John Watson in the British crime drama Sherlock (2010) and Lester Nygaard in the dark ...

Jared Padalecki was born in San Antonio, Texas, to Sherri (Kammer), a teacher of English, and Gerald Padalecki, a tax accountant. He is of Polish (father) and German, English, Scottish, and French (mother) descent. Jared started to take acting lessons when he was 12. Then, he won the "Claim to Fame...

Jensen Ross Ackles, better known as simply Jensen Ackles, was born on March 1, 1978, in Dallas, Texas, to Donna Joan (Shaffer) and actor Alan Ackles. He has English, German, and Scottish ancestry. Jensen grew up in Richardson, Texas, together with his older brother, Joshua, and a younger sister, ...

As the highest-paid actress in the world in 2015 and 2016, and with her films grossing over $5.5 billion worldwide, Jennifer Lawrence is often cited as the most successful actress of her generation. She is also thus far the only person born in the 1990s to have won an acting Oscar.Jennifer Shrader ...

Karen Sheila Gillan was born and raised in Inverness, Scotland, as the only child of Marie Paterson and husband John Gillan, who is a singer and recording artist. She developed a love for acting very early on, attending several youth theatre groups and taking part in a wide range of productions at ...

Matt Smith is an English actor who shot to fame in the UK aged 26 when he was cast by producer Steven Moffat as the Eleventh Doctor in the BBC's iconic science-fiction adventure series Doctor Who (2005).Matthew Robert Smith was born and raised in Northampton, the son of Lynne (Fidler) and David ...

Often considered one of Scotland's greatest actors, David Tennant was born David John McDonald in West Lothian, Scotland, to Essdale Helen (McLeod) and Sandy McDonald, who was a Presbyterian minister. He is of Scottish and Ulster-Scots descent. When he was about 3 or 4 years old, he decided to ...

Emma Charlotte Duerre Watson was born in Paris, France, to British parents, Jacqueline Luesby and Chris Watson, both lawyers. She moved to Oxfordshire when she was five, where she attended the Dragon School. From the age of six, Emma knew that she wanted to be an actress and, for a number of years,...

Scarlett Ingrid Johansson was born on November 22, 1984 in Manhattan, New York City, New York. Her mother, Melanie Sloan is from a Jewish family from the Bronx and her father, Karsten Johansson is a Danish-born architect from Copenhagen. She has a sister, Vanessa Johansson, who is also an actress, ...

Christopher Robert Evans began his acting career in typical fashion: performing in school productions and community theatre.He was born in Boston, Massachusetts, the son of Lisa (Capuano), who worked at the Concord Youth Theatre, and G. Robert Evans III, a dentist. His uncle is former U.S. ...

Christopher Hemsworth was born on August 11, 1983 in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia to Leonie Hemsworth (ne van Os), an English teacher & Craig Hemsworth, a social-services counselor. His brothers are actors, Liam Hemsworth & Luke Hemsworth; he is of Dutch (from his immigrant maternal grandfather)...

Richard Crispin Armitage was born and raised in Leicester, England, to Margaret (Hendey), a secretary, and John Armitage, an engineer. He attended Pattison College in Binley Road, Coventry, where he discovered his love for acting. He took part in many theatre productions all over the UK, from ...

Joseph Frank Keaton was born on October 4, 1895 in Piqua, Kansas, to Joe Keaton and Myra Keaton. Joe and Myra were Vaudevillian comedians with a popular, ever-changing variety act, giving Keaton an eclectic and interesting upbringing. In the earliest days on stage, they traveled with a medicine ...

Writer, actor, comedian, doer of good works, excellent good friend to the famous and not, Fry lives in his London SW1 flat and his Norfolk house when not traveling. Famous for his public declaration of celibacy in the "Tatler" back in the 1980s, Emma Thompson has characterised her friend as "90 ...

Joanne Rowling was born in Yate, near Bristol, a few miles south of a town called Dursley ("Harry Potter"'s Muggle-family). Her father Peter Rowling was an engineer for Rolls Royce in Bristol at this time. Her mother, Anne, was half-French and half-Scottish. They met on a train as it left King's ...

Marilyn Monroe was an American actress, comedienne, singer, and model. She became one of the world's most enduring iconic figures and is remembered both for her winsome embodiment of the Hollywood sex symbol and her tragic personal and professional struggles within the film industry. Her life and ...

Audrey Hepburn was born as Audrey Kathleen Ruston on May 4, 1929 in Ixelles, Brussels, Belgium. Her mother, Baroness Ella Van Heemstra, was a Dutch noblewoman, while her father, Joseph Victor Anthony Ruston, was born in zice, Bohemia, to English and Austrian parents.After her parents' divorce, ...

Zachary Quinto was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, to Margaret J. (McArdle), an Irish-American office worker, and Joseph John Quinto, an Italian-American barber. Zachary graduated from Central Catholic High School in Pittsburgh, with the class of 1995, where he won Pittsburgh's Gene Kelly Award ...

Harlean Carpenter, who later became Jean Harlow, was born in Kansas City, Missouri, on March 3, 1911. She was the daughter of a successful dentist and his wife. In 1927, at the age of 16, she ran away from home to marry a young businessman named Charles McGrew, who was 23. The couple pulled up ...

Julia Elizabeth Wells was born on October 1, 1935, in England. Her mother, Barbara Ward (Morris), and stepfather, both vaudeville performers, discovered her freakish but undeniably lovely four-octave singing voice and immediately got her a singing career. She performed in music halls throughout her...

Talented British actor Hugh Dancy is one of the UK's most noted young talents.Hugh Michael Horace Dancy was born in Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, England, to Sarah Ann (Birley), who works in academic publishing, and Jonathan Peter Dancy, a philosophy professor and writer. He has a brother, Jack (b...

Samantha Barks was born in Laxey, Isle of Man (British Isles) in 1990. She is a British actress best known for the role of ponine in Les Misrables. In 2008, Samantha competed in I'd Do Anything in which she was one of the finalists in a search for a new, unknown lead to play Nancy in a West End ...

Hugh Michael Jackman is an Australian actor, singer, multi-instrumentalist, dancer and producer. Jackman has won international recognition for his roles in major films, notably as superhero, period, and romance characters. He is best known for his long-running role as Wolverine in the X-Men film ...

Andrew Russell Garfield was born in Los Angeles, California, to a British mother, Andrea, and father, Richard Garfield. When he was three, he moved to Surrey, U.K., with his parents and older brother. He is of English and Polish Jewish heritage. Andrew was raised in a middle class family, and ...

Emily Jean "Emma" Stone was born in Scottsdale, Arizona, to Krista (Yeager), a homemaker, and Jeffrey Charles Stone, a contracting company founder and CEO. She is of Swedish, German, and British Isles descent. Stone began acting as a child as a member of the Valley Youth Theatre in Phoenix, Arizona...

Mads Mikkelsen's great successes parallel those achieved by the Danish film industry since the mid-1990s. He was born in sterbro, Copenhagen, to Bente Christiansen, a nurse, and Henning Mikkelsen, a banker.Starting out as a low-life pusher/junkie in the 1996 success Pusher (1996), he slowly grew ...

Robert Downey Jr. has evolved into one of the most respected actors in Hollywood. With an amazing list of credits to his name, he has managed to stay new and fresh even after over four decades in the business.Downey was born April 4, 1965 in Manhattan, New York, the son of writer, director and ...

Keira Christina Knightley was born March 26, 1985 in the South West Greater London suburb of Richmond. She is the daughter of actor Will Knightley and actress turned playwright Sharman Macdonald. An older brother, Caleb Knightley, was born in 1979. Her father is English, while her Scottish-born ...

Elizabeth Rosemond Taylor was considered one of the last, if not the last, major star to have come out of the old Hollywood studio system. She was known internationally for her beauty, especially for her violet eyes, with which she captured audiences early on in her youth and kept the world hooked ...

Dita Von Teese was born on September 28, 1972 in Rochester, Michigan, USA as Heather Rene Sweet. She is known for her work on The Death of Salvador Dali (2005). She was previously married to Marilyn Manson.

British actress Emilia Clarke was born in London and grew up in Oxfordshire, England. Her father was a theatre sound engineer and her mother is a businesswoman. Her father was working on a theatre production of "Show Boat" and her mother took her along to the performance. This is when, at the age ...

Gillian Anderson was born in Chicago, Illinois, to Rosemary Alyce (Lane), a computer analyst, and Homer Edward Anderson III, who owned a film post-production company. Gillian started her career as a member of an amateur actor group while at high school. In 1987, her love of the theatre took her to ...

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (born 27 July 1970) is a Danish actor, producer and screenwriter. He graduated from the Danish National School of Theatre in Copenhagen in 1993. Coster-Waldau's breakthrough performance in Denmark was his role in the film Nightwatch (1994). Since then he has appeared in ...

Aaron Kyle Tveit born October 21, 1983 is an American actor and singer. He is known for originating the roles of Gabe in Next to Normal and Frank Abagnale Jr. in the stage version of Catch Me If You Can on Broadway. He is also known for his recurring role as Tripp van der Bilt on The CW's teen ...

British actor Eddie Redmayne won the Academy Award for Best Actor (for The Theory of Everything (2014)).Edward John David Redmayne was born and raised in London, England, the son of Patricia (Burke) and Richard Charles Tunstall Redmayne, a businessman. His great-grandfather was Sir Richard ...

Dean O'Gorman was born on December 1, 1976 in Auckland, New Zealand. He is an actor, known for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012), The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013) and Trumbo (2015). He has been married to Sarah Wilson since January 8, 2016. They have one child.

Aidan Turner was born in Dublin, Ireland in 1983. After graduating from the Gaiety School of Acting in 2004, Aidan appeared in a number of stage productions, many with Ireland's national theatre, The Abbey. Such productions included The Plough & The Stars, Romeo & Juliet and A Cry from Heaven. In ...

Amanda Seyfried was born and raised in Allentown, Pennsylvania, to Ann (Sander), an occupational therapist, and Jack Seyfried, a pharmacist. She is of German, and some English and Scottish, ancestry. She began modeling when she was eleven, and acted in high school productions as well as taking ...

George Blagden is a London-based film and stage actor who is best known for his television roles in the historical dramas Versailles and Vikings, where he plays King Louis XIV and the Anglo-Saxon monk Athelstan respectively.He also played the role of the cynical revolutionary Grantaire in the award ...

Zoe Saldana was born on June 19, 1978 in Passaic, New Jersey, to Asalia Nazario and Aridio Saldaa. Her father was Dominican and her mother is Puerto Rican. She was raised in Queens, New York. When she was 10 years old, she and her family moved to the Dominican Republic, where they would live for ...

Iain Glen is a Scottish actor, born June 24, 1961, in Edinburgh, Scotland. He was educated at the Edinburgh Academy, an independent school for boys (now co-educational), followed by the University of Aberdeen. He graduated from the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art, where he was the winner of the ...

Once told by an interviewer, "Everybody would like to be Cary Grant", Grant is said to have replied, "So would I."Cary Grant was born Archibald Alec Leach on January 18, 1904 in Horfield, Bristol, England, to Elsie Maria (Kingdon) and Elias James Leach, who worked in a factory. His early years in ...

Jenna-Louise Coleman (born 27 April 1986), professionally known as Jenna Coleman, is an English actress and model. Jenna is best known for her BAFTA-nominated performance as Clara in Dr Who and for playing the titular role in ITV's Emmy-nominated series Victoria. She can most recently seen in a ...

Irish actress Katie McGrath did not intend to make a career for herself in the acting profession, studying History at Trinity College, Dublin. Upon graduating, she became interested in fashion journalism and worked for lifestyle and fashion magazine, Image. After this, her mother's best friend, an ...

Lily Jane Collins was born in Guildford, Surrey, England. Her father is English musician Phil Collins, while her mother, Jill Tavelman, who is from Los Angeles, California, was president of the Beverly Hills Women's Club for three terms. Lily moved with her mother to LA at the age of five, after ...

British-American actor, Bradley James, won his first role on the BBC pilot Dis/Connected. Show creators were so impressed with his work that they would go on to cast him as the young King Arthur in the hit show Merlin (2008) which aired on BBC & NBC. Of the eventual cast, James was the only cast ...

Michelle Suzanne Dockery (born 15 December 1981) is an English actress and singer. She is best known for her role as Lady Mary Crawley in the ITV drama series Downton Abbey (2010-2015), for which she has been nominated for three consecutive Emmy Awards and a Golden Globe Award. She made her ...

Few actors in the world have had a career quite as diverse as Leonardo DiCaprio's. DiCaprio has gone from relatively humble beginnings, as a supporting cast member of the sitcom Growing Pains (1985) and low budget horror movies, such as Critters 3 (1991), to a major teenage heartthrob in the 1990s,...

Anthony Perkins was born April 4, 1932 in New York City to Janet Esselstyn (Rane) and Osgood Perkins, an actor of both stage and film. His paternal great-grandfather was noted engraver Andrew Varick Stout Anthony.Perkins attended the Brooks School, the Browne & Nichols School, Columbia University ...

One of the most versatile actors working in Hollywood today, Lee Pace has established himself as a powerful leading man, consistently delivering compelling performances in film, television, and on stage.Pace will next be seen in the highly anticipated Apple TV+ series FOUNDATION. Scheduled for a ...

Florence Welch was born on August 28, 1986 in London, England as Florence Leontine Mary Welch. She is known for her work on Wonder Woman (2017), Snow White and the Huntsman (2012) and The Great Gatsby (2013).

Eugene Curran Kelly was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the third son of Harriet Catherine (Curran) and James Patrick Joseph Kelly, a phonograph salesman. His father was of Irish descent and his mother was of Irish and German ancestry.Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer was the largest and most powerful studio in...

Fred Astaire was born in Omaha, Nebraska, to Johanna (Geilus) and Fritz Austerlitz, a brewer. Fred entered show business at age 5. He was successful both in vaudeville and on Broadway in partnership with his sister, Adele Astaire. After Adele retired to marry in 1932, Astaire headed to Hollywood. ...

Ginger Rogers was born Virginia Katherine McMath in Independence, Missouri on July 16, 1911. Her mother, known as Lelee, went to Independence to have Ginger away from her husband. She had a baby earlier in their marriage and he allowed the doctor to use forceps and the baby died. She was kidnapped ...

Carey Hannah Mulligan is a British actress. She was born May 28, 1985, in Westminster, London, England, to Nano (Booth), a university lecturer, and Stephen Mulligan, a hotel manager. Her mother is from Llandeilo, Wales, and Carey also has Irish and English ancestry.Her first major appearance was ...

Noel Fielding was born to Dianne Fielding and Ray Fielding, on May 21 1973. He has once revealed on The Russell Brand Show, on Radio 2, that he has a French grandmother. Fielding once stated that he was never baptised, he hasn't got a middle name and he does not follow any religion. He was once ...

Gavin David Free is a British born filmmaker who wowed millions with his slow-motion videos on the Slow Mo Guys YouTube channel alongside Daniel Gruchy. He has also done a number of other videos with the production company Rooster Teeth. Gavin was born on May 23, 1988 in Oxfordshire, England. ...

Chris Lilley was born on November 10, 1974 in Sydney, New South Wales, Australia as Christopher Daniel Lilley. He is a writer and actor, known for Angry Boys (2011), We Can Be Heroes (2005) and Summer Heights High (2007).

Anton Yelchin was an American actor, known for playing Bobby in Hearts in Atlantis (2001), Chekov in the Star Trek (2009) reboot, Charlie Brewster in the Fright Night (2011) remake, and Jacob in Like Crazy (2011).He was born in Leningrad (now St. Petersburg), Russia, USSR, to a Jewish family. His ...

Chris Pine was born in Los Angeles. His parents are actors Robert Pine and Gwynne Gilford, and his maternal grandparents were Max M. Gilford, a president of the Hollywood Bar Association, and actress Anne Gwynne. His sister, Katherine Pine, has also acted. Chris's ancestry is Russian Jewish (from ...

Peter Capaldi was born in Glasgow, Scotland, to Nancy (Soutar) and Gerald John Capaldi. His parents owned an ice cream business. He is of Italian (from his paternal grandfather), Scottish, and Irish descent. Capaldi attended drama classes and was accepted into the Glasgow School of Art. After ...

Marina Diamandis is a Welsh singer-songwriter was born on October 10, 1985, in Brynmawr, Monmouthshire, Wales, known by her stage name 'Marina and the Diamonds', in which, 'Diamonds' refers to her fans, as she clarified. An "indie artist with pop goals", she is often compared to Kate Bush, even ...

O'Donoghue was born and raised in Drogheda, County Louth, Ireland, in a Roman Catholic family. He initially attended Dundalk Grammar School, and then The Gaiety School of Acting in Dublin. At age 16, O'Donoghue went to Paris, France, for a month to learn the French language. Colin's early career ...

Robert Carlyle was born in Maryhill, Glasgow, Scotland, to Elizabeth, a bus company employee, and Joseph Carlyle, a painter and decorator. He was raised by his father after his mother left him when he was four. At the age of 21, after reading Arthur Miller's "The Crucible," he enrolled in acting ...

Ewan Gordon McGregor was born on March 31, 1971 in Perth, Perthshire, Scotland, to Carol Diane (Lawson) and James Charles McGregor, both teachers. His uncle is actor Denis Lawson. He was raised in Crieff. At age 16, he left Morrison Academy to join the Perth Repertory Theatre. His parents ...

Born in Denmark, she came to Paris at 18. She met Coco Chanel and Pierre Cardin and started as a top model. She met Jean-Luc Godard about a cameo in bout de souffle (1960), but she had to be naked and she refused to play in the movie. One year later, they got married and she became famous ...

English actor Sam Claflin was born in Ipswich, England, to Susan A. (Clarke), a classroom assistant, and Mark J. Claflin, a finance officer. As a child, he was football-mad, often going to see his favorite team, Norwich City. He was a talented footballer, playing for Norwich schools at city level ...

Joshua Ryan Hutcherson was born on October 12, 1992 in Union, Kentucky to Michelle Fightmaster, who worked for Delta Air Lines, and Chris Hutcherson, an EPA analyst. He has one younger brother, Connor Hutcherson. From the age of four, Josh knew that he wanted to be an actor. In order to pursue his ...

David Bowie was one of the most influential and prolific writers and performers of popular music, but he was much more than that; he was also an accomplished actor, a mime and an intellectual, as well as an art lover whose appreciation and knowledge of it had led to him amassing one of the biggest ...

Sebastian Stan was born on August 13, 1982, in Constanta, Romania. He moved with his mother to Vienna, Austria, when he was eight, and then to New York when he was twelve. Stan studied at Rutgers Mason Gross School of the Arts and spent a year at Shakespeare's Globe Theatre in London.When he went ...

the killer crush: the horror of teen girls, from columbiners to beliebers - the awl

In eighth grade, Mary liked Leonardo DiCaprio, Emily liked Paul McCartney, and I liked Gavin Rossdale. We probably didnt say liked, though, or even loved. We were obsessed, we were crazy, we swooned, we fantasized. We liked the mall, and love was a word for grandmothers on the telephone: they loved us, they hoped to see us soon. The feelings we had were much more gigantic and upsetting. Crush was good. It implied force, and pain, and the possibility that we might not make it out the other sideintact.

At the time, I was pretty sure I had every picture of Gavin Rossdale ever published taped up on the walls of my room. I bought every magazine, even the dumb or European ones, that had an article on him. I spent hours looking online, too. When I found a picture I didnt have, Id print it out on my dads computer, and the ink would make the printer paper heavy and wilted. I went through a lot of tape. Well, I guess youre definitely heterosexual, my mom said, surveying my new decorating scheme. We tend to think of obsessive fact-collecting as the purview of men (baseball cards; car specs; the various pressings of various obscure 7-inches), but a teenage girl in the throes of a crush can hoard information along with the best of them. In eighth grade, I knew more about Gavin Rossdale than I do about many men Ive dated since. I knew his mothers name. I knew his dogs birthday (March something, if I remember correctly).

The crush was a private thing that happened in my room, but it was also a shared activity between friends. It didnt matter much that Emilys crush was a haggard guy in his mid-50s, or that Marys was dying as the Titanic sank, or that my romantic rival was Gwen Stefani. Our crushes werent about anything as simple as attainability, or kissing. You couldnt take Paul McCartney to the homecoming dance; the very idea was absurd, because the homecoming dance was an absurd nothing, especially when compared with the immensity and violence of our feelings.

My mom shouldve understood. At the Beatles 1966 concert in Chicago, shed had to slap my Aunt Martha hard to get her to stop from screaming herself into a faint. From the teenyboppers to the Beliebers, teenage girls have been mocked for their crushes, but that scorn is just a shoddy mask for the anxiety these crushes inspire. Because a teenage girl with a crush is frightening. The Beatles were always on the run from shoving, hysterical girl-crowds, who wantedwhat? To crush into them, to crush themselves, to crush against other girl-bodies that were all feeling the same feeling together, a chaos of feeling, a feeling that took your breath away. A Beatle who ventures out unguarded into the streets runs the very real peril of being dismembered or crushed to death by his fans, Life reported in January 1964. A girl with a crush is also capable of crushing.

A week or so after James Holmes shot up an Aurora, Colorado, movie theater, the internet was shocked (shocked) to discover that teenage girls on Tumblr were declaring their love for him. The members of this internet clique called themselves Holmies, and incessantly re-posted the same sullen pictures of Holmes with captions like I WANT TO CUDDLE HIM UNTIL HE SUFFOCATES and I want to feed him a tuna fish sandwich. with. mayonnaise. The internet treated this as though it were a new phenomenon, but the Holmies were just an offshoot of the already-existing Tumblr worlds of girls who crush, hard, on killers. Ted Bundy, Richard Ramirez, and Charles Manson all have their groupies, but the widest and most prolific group seems to be the Columbiners, who have devoted themselves to Columbine shooters Eric Harris and DylanKlebold.

In some ways, the Columbiners are not so different from the Beliebers. The main difference, of course, is that Justin Bieber is unattainable because hes a famous pop musician, while Harris and Klebold are famous because they are murderers, and unattainable because they are dead. But a girl with a crush has more in common with another girl with a crush than she does with a regular civilian. Both groups tend to speak in the self-consciously cute vernacular of internet teens (*fangirling*; UGH every time i look at him i just flail around for a minute), making fun of their own intensity even as they indulge it. They appreciate crooked smiles, strong forearms, and boys who write bad poetry about love (Beiber: If I could just die in your arms/I wouldnt mind; Klebold: I, who write this, love you beyond infinince).

And both groups have flocked to Tumblr to showcase their lovenot surprising, actually, since Tumblr turns out to be the perfect medium for a crush shrine, one thats far more dynamic and interactive than a scrapbook or a bedroom wall. It allows posts and re-posts of pictures, quotes, gifs, and video clips while discouraging wider analysis or any sort of logical connection between content. Instead, the obsession acts as its own context. Every internet trinket relating to the crush objecta photograph of his parents house, a doodle in the margin of his math homework, a yearbook photo, a stock photo of the gun he preferred, his autopsy reportis relevant, because a girl with a crush is omnivorous, and very, veryhungry.

A crush relies on projection: its about externalizing an aspect of your own self onto the unattainable object. (My friend Emily, who crushed on Paul McCartney, is now a professional musician.) But a crush is also aboutsex.

Beatlemania was revolutionary, as Barbara Ehrenreich and her co-authors Elizabeth Hess and Gloria Jacobs pointed out in this 1992 article, because it inspired an active, public assertion of sexual desire at a time when young girls were supposed to be chipper, pony-tailed, and pure at heart: For girls, fandom offered a way not only to sublimate romantic and sexual yearnings but to carve out subversive versions of heterosexuality. The Columbiners are even more open about their lust; their expressions of desire shades, by turns, from innocent to forthright and dark and back again. Beatlemaniacs were overwhelmed with heterosexual frenzy; Columbiner sexuality tends to be much more fluid and self-aware. Columbiners draw Eric and Dylan as wet-eyed anime girls, or they sketch the two boys sitting on an unmade bed, each holding the others erection. The girls post pictures of themselves dressed up like Reb or VoDKa in cargo pants, NATURAL SELECTION t-shirts, and black trench coats. You look so cute, everyone else comments. I want to cuddle with you. They unabashedly admit that guns turn them on. I want to touch Dylans pee pee, a girl confesses in a Columbiner video. I dont, like, label my sexuality, another teenage Columbiner writes, but if I did I would be pansexual.:) The Columbiner community, which is mostly made up of girls in their mid-teens, more than a decade younger than me, taught me a new fetish word last week: hybristophilia, the sexual preference for people who have committed murder or other violentcrimes.

Taken all together, its a messy picture of attraction: do the Columbiners want to save the boys, or make out with the boys, or watch the boys make out with each other, or make out with fellow Columbiners? Or all of the above, depending on the day? The possible contradictions dont seem to bother them. Instead, they slide between self-consciousness and narcissism and obsession, between playfulness and darkness, between confidence and deep vulnerability.

It would be easy to read the Columbiners public performance of extreme sexuality as worrying, especially because the girls involved are so young. But is there really anything new going on here? Teen girl sexualitylike, well, adult human sexualitycan edge up against the dark and the illogical, even when the crush object isnt a murderer. Whats more disconcerting, perhaps, is being confronted what teen girls, or a subset of teen girls, really want. If a focus group of middle-aged white men got together to design a teen idol, theyd most likely come up with someone who looked a lot like the glossy-haired, button-nosed Bieber. Klebold and Harris, in contrast, are as unmanufactured as you can get. They look like awkward seventeen year-olds from the 90s. Their clothes dont fit right; they havent entirely grown into their faces. Crushing on them is an act of resistance that bonds the Columbiners together.

Because, in the most positive sense, what the Columbiners are doing is working through an obsession with the support of a non-judgmental community. They dont have to explain themselves to each other, which seems to be a source of great relief. Along with their more explicit or swoony posts, the girls share their anxieties about upcoming history tests and awkward moments in class. They are vocally anti-bully. They upload pictures of themselves and ask if theyre ugly; you dont know youre beautiful, the Columbiner universe choruses back. Holmies post helpful information about psychosis in between their #dirtyholmiesconfessions, and Columbiners act as one anothers suicide watch. In living out their obsession online, the Columbiners are redefining normal teen girl behavior through finding safety innumbers.

Spend any time with an online fangirl community, whether the crush object is a murderer or a fictional wolf-prince or just a plain old pop star, and youll soon enough hear about the feels. (I JUST WANT TO JUMP OFF A CLIFF OR SOMETHING BECAUSE SITTING HERE WITH THESE FEELS DHFLKJDFHLDKJFH.) According to urbandictionary, the feels are the feelings you get when you watch or look at some sort of picture of video, most times of a celebrity, where you cannot place what your feeling (usually feelings of the sexual variety). The feels are sexual, but not merely or exclusively so. They are distinct from pre-internet emotions in that they are more like feelings for feelings sake. The internet, with its wealth of intangible content, is the feels native land; an internet crush is the feels personified. You cant do anything about the feels except feel them, then maybe go look at some more pictures online. They are an appetite that does not expect to be sated, an intensity without any perceivable end.

Intensity without an outlet is a dangerous thing; it is also sometimes where revolution comes from. Beatlemaniacs sensed something not-right in their world, and reacted by freaking out, like some sort of 1960s-era maenads in knee socks. To abandon controlto scream, faint, dash about in mobswas, in form if not conscious intent, to protest the sexual repressiveness, the rigid double standard of female teen culture, Ehrenreich and her co-authors write. It was the first and most dramatic uprising of womens sexual revolution. Everyone else made the mistake of assuming that Beatlemania was about the Beatles. As every woman who pledged her teenage devotion to someone embarrassing (Im sorry, Gavin) could tell you, a crush is more about the crusher than the crushee. Perhaps whats so disturbing about the Columbiners is not who theyre crushing on, but how its actually not so difficult to imagine what it might be like to be one. Why not let yourself inhabit their world for a moment? What might you need to unleash? What makes you want to scream and scream until someone slaps you?